The Jews for Jesus have been in the Union Square subway station every day for the last two weeks. I am one of the two bajillion people going through that station at rush hour on the way to work, which I imagine is why the J4J picked it for their proselytizing. I'm annoyed enough with them anyway about the whole 50 Shekel debacle (seriously, guys, he is low-rate Weird Al. Weird Al.) and how Mordy and I both almost-but-not-really got onto Page Six. (That's the art/culture aspect of my post, Jake, just so you can check it off).

The J4J, wearing matching T-shirts reading "Jesus Made Life Kosher," have been handing out their literature (as someone who has a degree in Literature and Theory and reads Proust for fun, the use of this word to refer to cheesy pamphlets annoys me for a multitude of reasons) to people who... well... "look Jewish." Anybody with dark hair, an olive complexion, or a non-button nose has been getting offered one. And me? Nothing.

So what if I am pale, redheaded, and... oh... wearing a Star of David necklace? Surely I can't be a descendant of Abraham! Part of me is thrilled that the J4Js are leaving me the hell alone, but part of me wants them to approach me so that I can yell at them and thus reduce my number of morning teas by one stress-relieving cup. Thoughts? Opinions? I need advice, people! What if they realize their mission is a failure and abandon the station before I have decided what do about their presence? Help!