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1. Jake Marmer
   Member

   Would love some ideas for this poem - i'm feeling like it's somewhere there, buzzing around like a mosquito but not quite yet...

   Book of Life

   right over the words “im shamoa”
   in Rosh Hashana mahzor this year
   I found a squashed mosquito
   and tried to imagine the person
   who couldn’t help slamming
   the book in the middle of shma –
   or maybe even ran after the insect
   through the shul, overturning chairs
   pages open like monster jaws
   of fatalism
   or was it a celestial hand
   that placed the mosquito there
   like a note of trop – buzz these words
   in high, fearfulpitch or else…
   Oh Eibishte! write us in the Book of Life!
   Seal us in there, squeeze us close –

   Posted 11 months ago #

2. adam schonbrun
   Member

   fine poem, humor, juxtaposed with holiness[b][/b]

   Posted 11 months ago #

3. Dena
   Administrator

   Hey Jake-
   I've been giving some thought to your poem. I like that you paid attention to the presence of the mosquito and the image of trop was great. It indicated to me that the mosquito's presence says something about the process of prayer, that it says something about what you're praying about. That's a theme that you make explicit with the "buzzing"... I think I'd like a little more of the comparison between people and mosquitos. For me that might make the image of the person chasing the mosquito more comic and more tragic. "If you only knew that you are a mosquito about to get squashed..."

   Two related textual notes: a) when I was little I had this book which was about how you shouldn't kill mosquitoes on shabbos. ran-dom. b) there's a gemara in shabbos (77b?) about a mosquito that flew into Titus's brain and killed him. check it out.

   -d

   Posted 11 months ago #

4. shlomo
   Administrator

   or was it a celestial hand
   that placed the mosquito there
   like a note of trop – buzz these words
   in high, fearfulpitch or else…

   Dena, I think that this line is comparing humans to mosquitos, but I guess, Jake you could make it more explicit.

   I would like to see some more lines at the end. What would it feel like to be a squashed into God's book of life. Please articulate this creepy-cool feeling that you allude to.

   Posted 11 months ago #

5. Jake Marmer
   Member

   Here's a revised version - many thanks to Dena and Shlomo!

   The Book Of Life

   right over words “im shamoa”
   in Rosh Hashana mahzor this year
   I found a squashed mosquito
   and tried to imagine the person
   who slammed
   the book in the middle of shma –
   or maybe even ran after the insect
   through the shul, overturning chairs
   pages open like monster jaws
   or was it a celestial hand
   that placed the mosquito
   like a note of trop – buzz these words
   in high, fearful pitch if you don’t, hishamru
   lachem pen – guard yourself with a pen,
   the one that stuffed mosquito in Titus’ ear –
   Blessed be victories of Midrashic imagination!
   Eibishte, let us write
   ourselves in the Book of Life!
   Seal us in there, squeeze us close –

   Posted 8 months ago #

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