I Wrap her in shadow and
Seek refuge under her wing.
As I fly away- come home
Fall into nothing-reality in an instant.
existence ceases.
I am nothing
I am nothing
I am nothing
I reach out, groping in the darkness of flight.
A secret whispers and I humbly bend
My ear, my neck, my head, my body, my soul
My mind twitches and my body quivers
Slowly swaying to an inborn metronome, lips murmuring excitedly.
Fists clenched, attempting to take back what was theirs.
Letting go, returning.
The battle rages.
My mind flows, my body fights.
My soul tumbles out in the form of words.
People appear.
I am standing on the ground.
There is a table in front of me.
Where is the whisper of the universe?
The buzz of the electrons?
The sprouting of the grass?
The dawn on the horizon?
Slowly the swaying returns.
Eyes closed.
Mind numb.
Words dance.
Letters growing thicker and fatter until they fill my consciousness.
Spaces disappear.
Blackness permeates.
Comfort of nothingness: storming soul, raging emotions.
I am nothing.
I am not.
I am.
I am a.
The secret fills my ears, my mind.
This time I am ready.
I refuse to let go.
I am yet not.
I not am yet.
I do battle as a nothing-something.
My nothingness begs to be part of the secret.
My secret needs to be.
Allow it to be.
Allow me to not be.
Allow for an escape.
Allow me to allow me.
Streaming words come to an end.
They stop,
yet I sway.
I sway with my thoughts. I sway with my heart. I sway with my body. I whisper nothingness to the secret.
The secret whispers nothingness in return.
I am comforted.
I walk away.
I step away from the mystery, from the reality I have forged. I step into the world I have whispered. I try futilely to grasp at my reality, yet my secret continues. It whispers and caresses me even now. Even after departing, I am here.
ולואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום